Did you know that the student-athletes of today are way different from those of us who were college athletes 5, 10, or 20 years ago? It's true. Today's student-athletes are plagued with anxiety disorders, suicidal ideation, depression, eating disorders, histories of trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). These issues have a lot to do with the way the world is today. The Instagrams and TikToks and SnapChats and constant availability of news or contact with peers somehow makes everyone feel lonelier and less connected. Then, if you add in adverse childhood experiences like family violence, community violence, divorce, extreme poverty, or world events, and you've got some real issues. Also, the student-athletes I've talked to, which are mostly white, upper-middle class females, talk a lot about struggling with perfection in all aspects of their lives. Perfectionism is something that I'll talk more about next week, but here's a teaser-- it's pervasive and pernicious, especially among young women.
So you've got all the issues above, then you add in a global pandemic that stripped away a major part of the identity of these student athletes. March 2020 was a time when seasons and championships were cancelled and student-athletes didn't really know how to survive. I was flying back from spring break with a college lacrosse team and each time we turned our phones on, there was another devastating message: March Madness cancelled; Spring Break extended; spring seasons cancelled; dorms closing; students had to go home; all classes moved online. Each message was a blow to these already fragile and developing minds, and the adults in the room also didn't know how to process the information, much less help others process it.
Early in the pandemic, child development researchers wanted to explore the effects of the pandemic on babies born during that time, and their results were especially alarming: the babies they looked at had lower scores on motor and communication skills than those of babies born prior to the pandemic. The "why" was a little less clear-- was it the stress of the mothers dealing with life during a pandemic, was it the isolation, or maybe a combination of both? And what about older children? We know that the pandemic had a major negative effect on adolescent mental health. But how did that manifest and what does it have to do with college student athletes? Development was stalled for young children, so we can infer the same is true for adolescents: someone who was 16 in March 2020 did not develop appropriately to become a "normal" 18-year old today. They lacked the social and academic interactions necessary to promote healthy brain development. Why is that important? Because 18-year-olds are moving into college dorms as freshmen with the mindset of 16-year-olds, being expected to navigate problems that they're not equipped to handle. And this is just the beginning. Those babies who are behind in motor and communication skills are going to grow up and become college freshmen, too, and they may still have delays in their development in some form or another that shows up when they move away from home for the first time.
So, what does this look like today? More room mate issues, more homesickness, more substance use or experimentation, a decreased ability to deal with adverse situations, communication difficulties with both peers and people in positions of power... the list goes on an on. What are you seeing on your teams and with your student athletes? And how can you overcome these issues and win games or contests?
A lot of coaches are stretched thin and feeling like they can't do more than focus on the X's and O's. My argument is, you can't afford to only focus on the X's and O's, because championships aren't only won on fields. And the more you sweep these issues under the rug, the lumpier your rug is going to get and the more issues you're going to have to deal with later on down the line. (Spoiler: what play to run on 3rd and goal in the national championship game is probably not one of them).
So, what can you do? I've got a few easy suggestions, steeped in Social Work, to help you begin to change your mindset a bit so that you can start helping your players be successful.
1. Look for your athlete's strengths: This might not be easy! Every person has strengths or resources that are positive helping factors in their lives. Maybe they're your best player-- that one is easy, right? But maybe they're not your best player; maybe they can't even catch... but, they are always on time and help set up the field. Maybe their defense is weak, but they're a great team motivator. Maybe they're not great academically, but they work really hard, ask for help, and show up to every single class on time. Maybe they're rude or closed off, but a major supporter to their family back home. Anything can be a strength. And some are harder to identify than others, but once you start recognizing their strengths, you will start treating your athletes differently, and their performance will improve.
2. Begin where your athletes are: Not everyone is at the same level when they step on campus or on the field or the court, either athletically, academically, or socially. (Please see previous paragraphs about post-pandemic life). And, most of our college athletes are coming from a world where they were the top player on their high school teams. And because of their egocentric views on the world (me first mentality) they can't comprehend that everyone on their team was the best on their own high school teams. So you have to be where they are. It's hard when you're in your 30s or 40s and you've already done it all-- but to paraphrase from my favorite book series of all time, the old are foolish when they forget what it's like to be young (Dumbledore to Harry in The Half-Blood Prince). I think that many coaches find this easier to do in reference to the sport. We can recall the first time we showed up to practice with our team, or the first conversation we had with our future head coach, or the buzzer beater that either made us champions or 2nd place. But part of this challenge is to try to remember the things you were thinking about as a young student-athlete-- away from home for the first time, taking classes about topics you're unfamiliar with, living with a stranger, navigating the social scene. I'm sure that you can recall at least one or two missteps you encountered during that time of your life. Personally, I'm grateful cell phones were used only for communication when I was in college and while digital pictures existed, there wasn't really anywhere to put them once you took them. But today's student-athletes are doing all the same things under a microscope, where their every move is documented and available for comment on social media. If you don't recognize that as the reality your student-athletes are facing, then you're totally off the mark.
3. Understand that people who are hurting often hurt others: you might be faced with a student-athlete who is disrespectful to your or your other players. Nine times out of ten, that behavior has nothing to do with you or your players. And the best coaches don't take it personally, they ask questions. Look at it this way-- how many times have you had a bad day going into practice, and then your team also had a terrible practice? It's a cycle. And, it's important to do your best to address the underlying reasons rather than to punish the behavior. Let's distill this down to the most basic example: a toddler. Our 3-year old may do things that are disrespectful; that is, she doesn't do what she's supposed to do. It's never because she is evil or conniving or manipulative-- it's because there is an underlying issue. With her, it's that she's tired, or hungry, or 3 and lacks the ability to communicate effectively. What are some underlying issues that could affect a college-aged kid? Academics (like hard classes or bad grades), athletics (like playing time or performance), social issues (like significant others or drama with their friends), social media (like reading the comments), family or other personal issues, or maybe they, like my toddler, are just hungry or tired... funny, many of those are similar to issues that might affect you or me... and might explain why we hurt others when we are hurting... interesting.
So this is your homework-- spend the week thinking about these three steps and attempting to incorporate them into your life, and let us know how it goes! (The only time I'm going to read the comments :) )
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