Recent Conversations - TOOLS

 Ok, welcome back to this three-part series on identifying issues facing college student-athletes and coaches today.  This post is going to focus on what we can do to not only help our student-athletes but also to help ourselves in working with this population.  

Photo by Steven Lelham on Unsplash

The very first thing we need to do as coaches is determine where WE are, and what we want OUR goals to be.  That can look several different ways.  

• When's the last time you looked at your coaching philosophy?  Are you still working in ways that demonstrate your philosophy?  Look at that and decide who YOU want to be as a coach, and then work backward from there.  (I love working on philosophies!  Let me know if you want to work on this together!)  This is something you should look at at the beginning and end of each season.  At the beginning, you ask yourself, "Is this still what I want to do?  Are these the most important things to me?"  At the end, you reflect, "Did I demonstrate this every day?  How?"
• Do you have a coaching philosophy?  If not, this is where you must begin.  
• What's the last good and inspiring book you read or podcast you listened to?  Fiction, non-fiction, a memoir, a how-to -- it doesn't matter.  Is there anything from that source you can implement into your coaching?  What is it?  What would it look like?  How would you do it? 
• How brave are you?  Are you willing to let your players grade you?  Make up a report card that corresponds to your coaching philosophy, and ask your players to rate you on how well you met your objectives.  If you *think* you are willing to do this, but you're a teensy bit defensive, you're probably not ready to do this.  And that's ok.  But your players have a very different perspective than you have, and what they have to say can be important.  
• Caveat:  You're never going to be everything to everyone.  This is a life lesson.  However, doing report cards may help you identify themes you didn't know previously existed.  AND IT IS SCARY.  So you really need to make sure you are prepared to hear the feedback.  AND, if you're not willing to hear the feedback, you should also explore THAT.  

These 3 suggestions all inform each other.  When you get inspired by something you read or listen to, you might tweak your coaching philosophy a bit.  When you read your student-athletes report card of you, you might want to re-visit your coaching philosophy to determine if you're actually doing what you think you're doing.  This might encourage you to read more, or listen to more podcasts, or make other adjustments to your yearly "to do's" to ensure you are upholding your philosophy.  

Ok, after you do some serious self-reflection, here are some suggestions for figuring out your student-athletes:

Suggestion #1:  Go back on this blog and read the post, "Where Are We Today" from September 20, 2022.  There are a few really good ideas on there that you may find helpful.  The 3 suggestions from that post are:  identify your athlete's strengths (yes, everyone has strengths!), be where they are, and understand hurting people often hurt others.  If this piques your interest and you want more details, check out that post!

Suggestion #2:  Be WITH your players on their journey.  College is a time of huge growth, and thus it is a major journey of change for your players.  A traditional student-athlete is between the ages of 18 and 22, and they are likely to be experiencing some new-found independence.  College is an incredible time of growth, mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Do you remember your time in college?  Take a minute to close your eyes and go back there.  Remember a few things you did that were outside of your comfort zone, but ended up being awesome.  How hard was it for you to transition into college?  What made it great?  Or hard?  One memory that comes to mind for me is when I decided to join the swim team after taking my freshman year off of swimming.  That decision helped me to meet new friends and remember how much I love the water, the chlorine, the early AM, and the adrenaline that comes when you're standing on the block, waiting to dive into the icy water below.  It took resilience for me to take that risk, and it built resilience the way only a competitive sport can.  It was a total win-win.  These are the types of memories we need to have in mind when we are with our athletes on their journeys.  They're going to do dumb stuff (did you do dumb stuff?)  They're going to have academic issues of some sort (did you have academic issues?)  They're going to be homesick, and have intimate partner issues, and injuries (anyone?).  They need a guide on this journey, and that's a great way to think of your role IN TOTALITY.  At the end of the day, when the game starts, all you are is a guide.  It's up to them to do whatever you've practiced with them.  We probably ask this of our student-athletes all the time, but let's flip the question to you, dear coach:  What do you want YOUR legacy to be?  How do you want your student-athletes to remember their time in college, their time with you?  

Suggestion #3:  Learn some VERY BASIC social work skills.  This might sound scary and out of your wheelhouse, but the skills I'm talking about are NOT "how to be a therapist" (you need a Master's degree in social work for that!).  It's basic stuff you can learn from the internet or from a person like me (or actually me!)  What am I talking about here? 

• How to listen
• How to respond so they talk more to you
• How the systems of which they are part play a role in their lives
• How their various environments impact their lives
• How to find their strengths, and how to help them find their strengths

My greatest piece of advice is based on an old cliche:  "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em".  In this scenario, that means it's unlikely you'll be able to change all of your athletes to be the machines you want them to be.  So it's much easier to adjust your own approach rather than griping about how (fill in the blank) the team is.  This is a win-win situation; a low risk/high reward.  If things have not been going how you've wanted them to go, it's pretty low risk to make a few personal adjustments.  If you don't, it's likely things will continue on how they've been, right?  And the reward potential is truly great.  

Final thoughts:  a P.S. of sorts.  If you are a coach who recruits athletes to come to your school, you have a huge responsibility to present yourself and your program authentically to potential recruits.  I don't mean to scream and yell at them on their visit if that's your M.O. during games (another post for another time, though).  But I do mean, if you want them to be authentic to you and your program, you owe them the same thing.  If they visit thinking they're your #1 recruit, but you envision them being #7 coming off the bench, they are going to be very dissatisfied when the season starts and they're not playing if they didn't know the truth.  You have to remember -- most of the athletes who play college sports were standouts on their high school and club teams.  What they don't realize is, so was everyone else.  We know the competition increases at the college level, but for some reason, many student-athletes assume sports will be exactly the same once they hit the NCAA.  So honesty with where you see them is super important and will prevent future heartache.  And, I'm a true believer that there is a college out there for everyone; it's OK if that college is not yours (and it will make your life easier in the long-run!)

If you're reading this and are interested in talking more, send me a message!  I'd be happy to chat about coaching philosophies and some of the social work skills mentioned above.